Sparty's Dream Team
Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 6:06 pmThe officers thought it would be cool if I made up a list of players I'd want on my dream raid team. Something that some players might want to aspire to. So I did...mostly. Many of these you'll find in the quotebook. I'm sure I forgot a few, so everyone can be kind enough to remind me.
Tanks:
Shemhazat - Ever seen a tank roleplay a broken leg during Lich King Heroic? We did. More than once.
Dorfster - Who doesn't need a tank that will randomly disappear for months and expect a full raiding spot when he comes back.
Ryo - Oh Ryo...brought us such gems as "Whos fireball and why is he going to be late? And "Cool rocks guys." As he pulls Ouro. He was also the first person that actually played this game in first person.
Healers:
Inai - This is where the curse of the dwarf priest started. Our swedish priest. Managed to 'accidentally' loot two cold snaps from our first Azuregos kill. Where is he now? Started techno-viking movement.
Phose - Jose was our pet name for him. He was a below average healer with terrible situational awareness that we were turning into a decent paladin. Ninja transferred, bounced between different guilds(VANQUISH: I Joined 7/14, was kicked on 8/1 for sporadic and lackluster performance on Baleroc Heroic 25man.), realized his terrible mistake and applied here again. Unfortunately kids need to learn lessons, and his current guild bitches about the current state of their healing paladins.
Sydarm - Rootleaf to this day will never forget Sydarm's nasally voice. The dwarf curse continued here because loot council was such a bad loot system compared to dkp!
Bethanie - Our first bad priest. She ruined a server first Onyxia kill by pulling aggro with spamming the bad tank with PW: Shields.
Ebolamonkeys - With a name like this how couldn't we have expected great things? He healed a bit, he tanked a bit, he ninjaquit a little, bounced between guilds lots. People never learn right? At least he took his boyfriend hunter.
Grunder - Another dwarf priest. If you rolled a dwarf, you did it for fear ward. Apparently a priest's self-importance and ego also went up. And you were too important to the raid, even if you were a dick. We didn't share that view.
Myrtai - One of the nicest people ever. And when Naxx40 was around, and you actually had to move your character during Heigan, you could bet on her to die...every time. Here's some salt in the wound: Treeform would give you a 30% slow...and our other druid healer managed to survive...every time.
Damdor - One of the founding members, picked up our Thunderfury. Was he a tank, healer or dps? He was Damdor, the Swede. During Onyxia he directed movements for our tank to get into a good position. "Get between her legs Dakse!, Get in deeper Dakse! Dakse thats good, now pull back a bit!" He left during the first exodus and attempted to start a guild on Steamwheedle Cartel...it failed. Tried again months later...failed once more. What we have here cannot be replicated.
Dps:
Wendonai - Enhancement Shaman from ICC. He kept dying on heroic Putricide on slimes claiming they were all RNG deaths. The only thing RNG was which foot I would use to kick him.
Darrnath - Darrnath is an honorable mention. He'd either have to be the only warlock in the raid, or would be sitting outside. He'd be productive though, no one could fish better than Darrnath. The warlock curse started here.
Dalaul - Warlock during ICC. His dps only paled in comparison to how many ghosts he was able to run into on Lady Deathwhisper.
Aloris - Who could forget our glaive rogue. Yes the curse of the legendary was strong in this one. He would always send me conversations of how CM was trying to recruit him, laughing when he told them to fuck off. Fortunately for us he left during M'uru progression with another warrior that was taught to dps by a priest. Later threatened to post my RL information. Where is he now? http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=592200414
Lilith - During the end of Ulduar we picked up this gem. She couldn't see Yogg's clouds because she used to play horde and now played a gnome. Well the clouds were harder to see...as was the giant symbol over my head that I asked everyone to follow. There's a section dedicated to her in the quotebook.
Heinstein - AFK guys...as he pulled Archimonde by accident...He was so good at standing in cleaves, we asked him to stop playing enhancement and heal instead.
Shakezoola - I've no doubt he was high everytime he raided. I asked him to count Bloodboils during Gurtogg. Count Shakezoola: "One bloodboil ah ah ah....two bloodboil ah ah ah..."
Xtrainer - Only a few remember the drama from Xtrainer...luckily those forum posts are hidden away.
Veridious - Who doesn't need a parrot in the raid...repeating everything you say on vent.
Arlynne - Some women are directionally challenged. This one was no exception as she wasn't sure which target to ever dps. And when we have 80 people in Mulgore for a faction leader raid, she had the inability to follow the moving dots on her map. Where is she now? Apparently someone married her and she raids with a late night guild that claims to be well respected.
Noodleswoop - The original swoop. Was the only person to die on an Immortal run during ToC. Countless other stupid mistakes that now brought on a tradition. Whenever you do something stupid, you are 'swoopin.'
Sharpz - Rogue of MC era. He would always conveniently not be around for the MC clear...but as we killed Executus he would log on and say "Hey guys, kill Rag yet?" He was after Perdition's Blade. I somehow managed to keep the raid full without him. Also a knack of finding good names. The one he used prior to Sharpz was Drugdealer.
Thillen - Dubbed the 'walking loot closet,' he collected pretty much every weapon during MC/BWL. During ZG he accidently pulled tigers..or raptors...I didnt do it! When awarded the Spinal Reaper from Ragnaros...he was so happy...he cried on vent. He's in the quotebook.
Brunitus - During a ZG run, he was pissed off that the raid leader(Rootleaf) got a weapon over Sharpz...well Brunitus joined CM. During green dragons his pet taunted the green dragon, breathed on their raid, wiped them. While they were cleaning up their dead we killed the boss. Balance restored.
Hudsonhawk - The women of our guild know him well. If you ever had a creeper vibe, you'd feel his presence. His one quest in life...was to acquire an e-girlfriend.
Tanks:
Shemhazat - Ever seen a tank roleplay a broken leg during Lich King Heroic? We did. More than once.
Dorfster - Who doesn't need a tank that will randomly disappear for months and expect a full raiding spot when he comes back.
Ryo - Oh Ryo...brought us such gems as "Whos fireball and why is he going to be late? And "Cool rocks guys." As he pulls Ouro. He was also the first person that actually played this game in first person.
Healers:
Inai - This is where the curse of the dwarf priest started. Our swedish priest. Managed to 'accidentally' loot two cold snaps from our first Azuregos kill. Where is he now? Started techno-viking movement.
Phose - Jose was our pet name for him. He was a below average healer with terrible situational awareness that we were turning into a decent paladin. Ninja transferred, bounced between different guilds(VANQUISH: I Joined 7/14, was kicked on 8/1 for sporadic and lackluster performance on Baleroc Heroic 25man.), realized his terrible mistake and applied here again. Unfortunately kids need to learn lessons, and his current guild bitches about the current state of their healing paladins.
Sydarm - Rootleaf to this day will never forget Sydarm's nasally voice. The dwarf curse continued here because loot council was such a bad loot system compared to dkp!
Bethanie - Our first bad priest. She ruined a server first Onyxia kill by pulling aggro with spamming the bad tank with PW: Shields.
Ebolamonkeys - With a name like this how couldn't we have expected great things? He healed a bit, he tanked a bit, he ninjaquit a little, bounced between guilds lots. People never learn right? At least he took his boyfriend hunter.
Grunder - Another dwarf priest. If you rolled a dwarf, you did it for fear ward. Apparently a priest's self-importance and ego also went up. And you were too important to the raid, even if you were a dick. We didn't share that view.
Myrtai - One of the nicest people ever. And when Naxx40 was around, and you actually had to move your character during Heigan, you could bet on her to die...every time. Here's some salt in the wound: Treeform would give you a 30% slow...and our other druid healer managed to survive...every time.
Damdor - One of the founding members, picked up our Thunderfury. Was he a tank, healer or dps? He was Damdor, the Swede. During Onyxia he directed movements for our tank to get into a good position. "Get between her legs Dakse!, Get in deeper Dakse! Dakse thats good, now pull back a bit!" He left during the first exodus and attempted to start a guild on Steamwheedle Cartel...it failed. Tried again months later...failed once more. What we have here cannot be replicated.
Dps:
Wendonai - Enhancement Shaman from ICC. He kept dying on heroic Putricide on slimes claiming they were all RNG deaths. The only thing RNG was which foot I would use to kick him.
Darrnath - Darrnath is an honorable mention. He'd either have to be the only warlock in the raid, or would be sitting outside. He'd be productive though, no one could fish better than Darrnath. The warlock curse started here.
Dalaul - Warlock during ICC. His dps only paled in comparison to how many ghosts he was able to run into on Lady Deathwhisper.
Aloris - Who could forget our glaive rogue. Yes the curse of the legendary was strong in this one. He would always send me conversations of how CM was trying to recruit him, laughing when he told them to fuck off. Fortunately for us he left during M'uru progression with another warrior that was taught to dps by a priest. Later threatened to post my RL information. Where is he now? http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=592200414
Lilith - During the end of Ulduar we picked up this gem. She couldn't see Yogg's clouds because she used to play horde and now played a gnome. Well the clouds were harder to see...as was the giant symbol over my head that I asked everyone to follow. There's a section dedicated to her in the quotebook.
Heinstein - AFK guys...as he pulled Archimonde by accident...He was so good at standing in cleaves, we asked him to stop playing enhancement and heal instead.
Shakezoola - I've no doubt he was high everytime he raided. I asked him to count Bloodboils during Gurtogg. Count Shakezoola: "One bloodboil ah ah ah....two bloodboil ah ah ah..."
Xtrainer - Only a few remember the drama from Xtrainer...luckily those forum posts are hidden away.
Veridious - Who doesn't need a parrot in the raid...repeating everything you say on vent.
Arlynne - Some women are directionally challenged. This one was no exception as she wasn't sure which target to ever dps. And when we have 80 people in Mulgore for a faction leader raid, she had the inability to follow the moving dots on her map. Where is she now? Apparently someone married her and she raids with a late night guild that claims to be well respected.
Noodleswoop - The original swoop. Was the only person to die on an Immortal run during ToC. Countless other stupid mistakes that now brought on a tradition. Whenever you do something stupid, you are 'swoopin.'
Sharpz - Rogue of MC era. He would always conveniently not be around for the MC clear...but as we killed Executus he would log on and say "Hey guys, kill Rag yet?" He was after Perdition's Blade. I somehow managed to keep the raid full without him. Also a knack of finding good names. The one he used prior to Sharpz was Drugdealer.
Thillen - Dubbed the 'walking loot closet,' he collected pretty much every weapon during MC/BWL. During ZG he accidently pulled tigers..or raptors...I didnt do it! When awarded the Spinal Reaper from Ragnaros...he was so happy...he cried on vent. He's in the quotebook.
Brunitus - During a ZG run, he was pissed off that the raid leader(Rootleaf) got a weapon over Sharpz...well Brunitus joined CM. During green dragons his pet taunted the green dragon, breathed on their raid, wiped them. While they were cleaning up their dead we killed the boss. Balance restored.
Hudsonhawk - The women of our guild know him well. If you ever had a creeper vibe, you'd feel his presence. His one quest in life...was to acquire an e-girlfriend.
